she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
