He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
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