Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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