Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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