Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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