"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Duck Duck Cougar?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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