I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
