he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
