therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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