and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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