Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
