you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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