I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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