I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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