we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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