you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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