What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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