Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I have aggressive nipples.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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