the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
farters have to be the big spoon...
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
then he tried to convert me to islam
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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