Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
