Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
