I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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