You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
