Are we in a gay sports bar?
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Randomize
