I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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