In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
