On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I know her cup size but not her name....
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
