I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
