I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize