Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My penis needs a shock collar
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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