just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
