Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Well I just put wine in my tea
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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