My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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