i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
