I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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