Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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