i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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