you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
