that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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