please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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