Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
