she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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