she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
