The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
