yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
