Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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