2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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