I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
