Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
My vagina just recognized that song.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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