Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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