I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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