Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
