Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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