Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
